Retraining ‘Amy’ with Exposure Therapy
Who is Amy and why do they need retraining?
'Amy' is the nickname I've assigned our Amygdala - the little almond-shaped part of our brain that makes the "Fight or Flight or Freeze" decisions on our behalf. 'Amy' has all the best intentions in the world. She is ALWAYS passively on the lookout for danger. Sometimes 'Amy' gets it right and correctly signals DANGER in moments we are ACTUALLY in danger. But, sometimes 'Amy' gets it wrong (you gotta love her for trying, though). 'Amy' has A LOT of information to filter through to determine the current threat level. She does this by a process called association (remember the classical conditioning thing with Pavlov's dogs salivating at the sound of a bell? Same deal.) She still operates like it's 27,000 BC (get with the times already, 'Amy').
'Amy' isn't bothered by how many times she sets off the alarm system in our bodies (to her, it's always a job well done). On our end, though, the alarm signal going off frequently or unnecessarily can be super distressing.
So here's the deal. It's not all on 'Amy'. We have some control here (this is a good thing). Say you experience physical sensations that feel like an anxious response (clenched muscles, shallow breathing, etc.), or you perceive (think and believe) you are in danger (let's say you are in the wild walking around and think a bear is about to jump out when there is no bear). Then 'Amy' learns (associates) those physical sensations (shallow breathing) and cues (being outside) as possible signs of danger. She’ll tuck them away and every time they come up again ‘Amy’ will go DANGER and flick the alarm system switch.
We obviously do not want our alarm system firing off unnecessarily so one of the best things we can do is retrain ‘Amy’ through exposure. What this means is that you intentionally expose yourself to what you fear (e.g. public speaking, driving, flying, walking in a park, talking to people, our collective fear list is endless). Before I go on, let me be clear. I am NOT suggesting you expose yourself to ACTUAL threatening or dangerous situations. I’m talking about the perceived fears, the fears ‘Amy’ accidentally coded as real danger.
Exposing yourself over time (gradually is more than fine) to the situation that elicits a strong fear response and allowing yourself to fully move through (without escaping or fighting or freezing) a fearful situation teaches ‘Amy’ to recode the situation as non-threatening.
Exposure therapy is a process I’d suggest planning or talking through with a mental health professional. But, anyone can practice this technique on their own. I personified our Amygdala intentionally. Thinking of ‘Amy’ as a well-intentioned friend makes it a little easier to practice self-compassion (when we are anxious we can be so hard on ourselves). Just remember, your body is doing EXACTLY what it was designed to do. Sometimes it just needs a little extra help and retraining. And, self-compassion.
